Glory, Glory, Dear Old Thermo

GLORY, GLORY, DEAR OLD THERMO

(Tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic)

1.
Free energy and entropy
were swirling round his brain
With partial differentials
and Greek letters in their train,
For deltas, sigmas, gammas, thetas,
epsilons, and pis
Were driving him distracted
as they danced before his eyes.

Chorus: (sung after every verse)
Glory, glory, dear old thermo
Glory, glory, dear old thermo
Glory, glory, dear old thermo
I'll get you by and by.

2.
Heat content and fugacity
revolved within his mind,
Like molecules and atoms
that you never have to wind,
With logarithmic functions
doing cake walks in his dreams,
And partial molar quantities
devouring chocolate creams.

3.
They asked him on the final
if a mole of any gas,
In a vessel with a membrane
through which hydrogen could pass,
Were compressed to half its volume
what the entropy could be
If half of Pi Tau Sigma equals the square of xyz.

4.
He said he guessed the entropy
would have to equal four
Unless the second law
would bring it up a couple more.
But then it might be seven
if the thermostat was good
Or it might be 'most eleven
if once rightly understood.

5.
The professor read his paper
with a corrugated brow,
For he knew he'd have to grade it
but he didn't quite know how.
Till a sudden inspiration
on his cerebrum was smote,
And he seized his trusty fountain pen
and this is what he wrote.

6.
Just as you guessed the entropy,
I'll have to guess your grade,
But the second law won't raise it
to the mark you might have made,
For it might have been 100
if your guesses had been good
But I think it might be zero
till they're rightly understood.